Here's what you need to know if you're looking for a job
📗 You must have 3 bachelor's degrees, 5 master's degrees, and speak at least 10 languages
👩 💻 You must have 82 years of experience, even if that sector has only been active for 5 years - in your past lives you were already preparing for this moment
🤖 You must have a specialization in ATS to pass the first filter - 30 credits of the degree are validated when you have reached 300 hours of internship
📄 You must be able to adapt - but not to the environment, no; ability to tailor your CV to each job you apply for
✉ You should also create an adapted cover letter with 10 proposals
📹 Get ready for your intro video in which you'll have to do 10 backward somersaults
💻 Don't forget your 5 portfolios showing your previous work
👯 ♂️ You must know how to play 10 roles in one
❌ You should NOT be afraid, since you will have to contact the recruiter once you have applied, to earn points - I have a lot of respect for writing to them
⚖ If you're in, get ready for the 3 psychotechnical tests, the 4 case studies and the 20 phases of the process
👻 Work on that fear of rejection, there is a very high % of being ghosted and having your heart broken. "It's not you, it's me"
💔 For the above, if you have anxious attachment, going to therapy can be good for you, because this experience will force you to know how to deal with avoidant attachments
💚 Don't even think about putting on the green circle, desperate
🎖 Don't forget to create your personal brand on LinkedIn, it's your letter of introduction to the world, apart from doing all of the above. Create your own content - make time for it after spending 15 hours a day applying for offers
🧘 ♀️ You must have a lot of patience and resilience, you will need it every time you read the salary of the offer - if it appears in the description, of course
☕ You must know how to breathe deeply and not lose your cool - by the time you read about "knowing how to work under pressure" (you must have the diving course), free coffee (if you are a barista, you earn points), fresh fruit every day (own garden, +10 points), and hybrid modality - on Fridays teleworking (don't complain, you could have the option to choose which day you want, what a horror)"
👟 Go training every day because you will be constantly in the Battle Royale. Think about it: you, me, competing against 300 other people for that position. A fantasy, what a love 💖 story
🥖 If you are a recent graduate or junior, I recommend having been born earlier. You should have been born with 10 years of experience under your arm, instead of a loaf of bread
🧠 If you have mental health issues, well... Here you come crying from home/To cry to the weeping
Other skills that can help you:
✈ Knowing how to fly planes, for when things go downhill, and knowing how to parachute, for when you have to make a forced landing
And to read this post without being offended, you need to have a bit of a sense of #humor ❤️
Source: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/noemimartinezcasanovas_humor-desempleadamillennial-empleo-activity-7178647029244432384-UAl1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop
👩 💻 You must have 82 years of experience, even if that sector has only been active for 5 years - in your past lives you were already preparing for this moment
🤖 You must have a specialization in ATS to pass the first filter - 30 credits of the degree are validated when you have reached 300 hours of internship
📄 You must be able to adapt - but not to the environment, no; ability to tailor your CV to each job you apply for
✉ You should also create an adapted cover letter with 10 proposals
📹 Get ready for your intro video in which you'll have to do 10 backward somersaults
💻 Don't forget your 5 portfolios showing your previous work
👯 ♂️ You must know how to play 10 roles in one
❌ You should NOT be afraid, since you will have to contact the recruiter once you have applied, to earn points - I have a lot of respect for writing to them
⚖ If you're in, get ready for the 3 psychotechnical tests, the 4 case studies and the 20 phases of the process
👻 Work on that fear of rejection, there is a very high % of being ghosted and having your heart broken. "It's not you, it's me"
💔 For the above, if you have anxious attachment, going to therapy can be good for you, because this experience will force you to know how to deal with avoidant attachments
💚 Don't even think about putting on the green circle, desperate
🎖 Don't forget to create your personal brand on LinkedIn, it's your letter of introduction to the world, apart from doing all of the above. Create your own content - make time for it after spending 15 hours a day applying for offers
🧘 ♀️ You must have a lot of patience and resilience, you will need it every time you read the salary of the offer - if it appears in the description, of course
☕ You must know how to breathe deeply and not lose your cool - by the time you read about "knowing how to work under pressure" (you must have the diving course), free coffee (if you are a barista, you earn points), fresh fruit every day (own garden, +10 points), and hybrid modality - on Fridays teleworking (don't complain, you could have the option to choose which day you want, what a horror)"
👟 Go training every day because you will be constantly in the Battle Royale. Think about it: you, me, competing against 300 other people for that position. A fantasy, what a love 💖 story
🥖 If you are a recent graduate or junior, I recommend having been born earlier. You should have been born with 10 years of experience under your arm, instead of a loaf of bread
🧠 If you have mental health issues, well... Here you come crying from home/To cry to the weeping
Other skills that can help you:
✈ Knowing how to fly planes, for when things go downhill, and knowing how to parachute, for when you have to make a forced landing
And to read this post without being offended, you need to have a bit of a sense of #humor ❤️
Source: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/noemimartinezcasanovas_humor-desempleadamillennial-empleo-activity-7178647029244432384-UAl1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop
Mar 2024